Kings Riding In Limos

What if Kings ruled the good ole US of A? Well, some say we already have kings living here, although they don’t have that title, don’t have the power to be-head good citizens like you and I, and don’t wear crowns.

The Kings that live in America these days are the uber-rich, who, if they wanted to, wouldn’t have to work another single day in their lives, and could probably buy their way into the presidency if they said ‘pretty please with a billion bucks on top’!

They’d ride in stretched out Limos sittin’ on 22’s, order bottle service at every turn, have the finest ladies in their skivvies swimming in their hot tubs at 3 am. Did I mention they’d have personal chefs, chauffers and shoppers? Yeah, you get my drift.

BUT, what if Kings actually ruled in every state of the union? Would the King of Hawaii wear a funny seashell flower crown? Would the King of Wyoming wear a Cowboy hat? Would the King of Milwaukee have a beer-stein as a crown? Oh the questions.

One thing I do know, is that Kings from the Roman Empire would laugh at the state of society these days. They would laugh at the fact that I can sit here typing on a keyboard posting on a blog and think that this guy is weak, he doesn’t do any hard labor, and he can’t properly work a bow & arrow. Kings wielded swords, and how many young punks in their 20’s can do that now? Most of our forearms would probably need surgery after swinging that thing one time!

Anyhoo, back to the original thought, what if Kings ruled America? Yup, that would be a funny site, especially by today’s fashion standards. The garb itself wouldn’t even make it a half block down Madison Avenue before they got laughed back to the subway.

BUT, they would have some good servants. America is the land of opportunity, and people would line up to cook, clean up after, and pamper a king in this day and age. The feasts alone would be magnificent, and there is no way that any king wouldn’t have the best chefs that money can buy. Giada eat your heart out, imagine an audition to become the next chef for the King of the USA! Gordon Ramsay wouldn’t stand a chance cause of his raunchy attitude. Anyhoo, I digress.

Kings in today’s America would be hysterical, because they would laugh at our society, and the pains it goes through to simply get a Happy Meal.


No Responses to “Kings Riding In Limos”




By submitting a comment here you grant King Spadina a perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution. Inappropriate comments will be removed at admin's discretion.